Lost, Lonely, & Slightly Ludicrous
Some people question how one can be lonely when they are surrounded by a sea of people...
The fact of the matter is, that when you're in a sea of people and you feel lost within the crowd, feeling lonely is mechanical.
Sitting at a local Panera bread with 4 other seemingly nice and friendly individuals, yet feeling like you can't connect on a deeper level with even one of them...been there, done that.
The conversation feels forced, dull and you're worrying if everyone else at the table can sense how disconnected and distant you feel.
You hate the feeling and try your best to avoid it, yet somehow it always comes right back to bite you in the butt.
Wether it's searching for a significant other for the sake of pushing loneliness to the curb, or piling up the work load so there is no time for self-reflection...
Truth is, you haven't escaped it till you've faced it.
Sit with being lonely and discover what thoughts and physical sensations go along with it...
Then think about what you're craving...Is it human connection? Call a friend! Is it a change in atmosphere? Go explore! Is it a change in tone? Throw on some headphones!
Find what works for you and run with it.
I know, it's easier said than done—I'm still working on it myself.
But if I've learned anything from my mistakes its that avoiding "lonely" rather than feeling it out will get you no where.
In my mind, if I had a boyfriend, there was no way I could ever be lonely..
An amazing, intelligent, fun, kind, and caring guy.
He fit the check list and my mind was all for it...
Unfortunately my heart was not.
So now along with feeling lonely, I was feeling guilty.
And it was no longer just me who was feeling pain, but I hurt someone in the process.
If you take anything from this at all, let it be that you can't run from your emotions and you're not alone in them either.
Embrace the lonely, the lost, the ludicrous...
Learn about yourself in the process.
